Super Quiche

12 eggs
500ml Milk
500ml Cream
Salt & Pepper

Puff Pastry - Yes I cheat and use frozen! WHAT OF IT!?
Fresh chopped parsley

• Mix the lot
• Line a tray with the puff
• Pour in the mix with whatever ingredients (listed below) you want to flavour it.
• Sprinkle the parsley on top and then cook it in the oven.

Please note that this makes 2 of these bad boys.

[image source]

Ingredient Ideas

Feta
Gorgonzola
Powdered parmesan

Mushrooms - Sautéed in butter
Semi-dried tomatoes
Roasted Pumpkin
Roasted carrots (go and buy the purple ones for an extra jazzy quiche)
Asparagus
Broccoli
Onion
Spinach
Roasted capsicum
Roasted eggplant

Bacon
Pancetta
Chorizo
Salami
Chicken

Chilli Flakes
Fresh thyme

Traditional Shortbread

1 cup caster sugar
2 cups corn starch (Yes it seems like a lot - just go with it).
4 cups plain flour
pinch salt
470g butter, at room temp
1tbs sugar

• Add sugar, corn starch, flour and salt to a large bowl and mix.
• Cut butter into smallish bits and rub into the mix. Don't think dirty. Rubbing butter into flour is not a sexual act at all. I promise. You will know when it's done when it's a sandy texture.
• Put in a tray, press it all down until its even and solid. Make sure it is no thicker than an inch or the inside will not be cooked.
• Go ahead and make marks in the shorbread with a fork or something I want to use the term "prick", but i'm giggling like a school girl.
• Bake for like 35-40 minutes at 180, then reduce heat to about 140 for another 20 mins or until golden. Golden like treasure. Delicious Treasure.
• Remove from oven and sprinkle with that 1tbs of sugar that you seen at the end of the ingredients list and thought "what the hell does she want me to do with a tablespoon of sugar- she is high for sure".
• Cool for 5 minutes then cut her up whilst she us still in the tray. (yes, it does have a gender).
• Let them continue to cool before removing from tray.

Please be aware that this makes a crapload of shortbread.

[image source]

Never Fail Muffin Mix

150g butter
250g caster sugar
3 eggs
360 flour
2.5 tsp baking powder
pinch of salt
1tsp mixed spice (only if putting fruit in the muffin!)
100ml milk

• cream butter & sugar.
• add eggs.
• add flour, baking powder, salt, & mixed spice, if you're using the mixed spice that is.
• add milk.
• add whatever ingredients you are using to make them taste like awesome.

**MEASUREMENTS BELOW ARE APPROXIMATE **
(DO WHAT YOU LIKE, I DON'T CARE)

100g Apple & 100g Frozen Raspberries
120g Apple & 50g Sultanas
120g Banana 1tbs Honey & 50g Walnut
100g Pear 1tbs Honey & 50g Walnut
100g Apple 1tbs Honey & 50g Walnut
50g Roasted Macadamias & (to taste) Butterscotch
200g White Chocolate 140g Raspberries
180g Crushed Pink Apple 90g coconut, 80g sultanas

[image source]

Tuille Baskets

90g caster sugar
60g egg whites
2 drops vanilla extract
pinch salt
25g plain flour

30g unsalted butter

• Whisk up the eggwhites, sugar and vanilla until well combined.
• Add flour - until combined.
• add melted butter to mix, then rest for at least 30 minutes.
•  Make circles on paper about 10cm in diameter.
• cook in oven until they are tacky, or cooked but not crsip TIMING IS EVERYTHING!
• chuck 'em in a muffin tin to shape them into a bowl shape.
• Now let them cool

[image source]

There are so many things you can do with tuiles, google it. Seriously.

Almond Cream

800g Butter
500g almond meal
500g icing sugar
100g flour
10 egg yolks
1tbs vanilla

 

• Place butter in processor until smooth
• Then add all except the yolk
• Add yolks one at a time until it looks like this:

[image source]

 

I use almond cream in tarts, it also makes a good icing on muffins.

Try mixing it up a bit, add some cinnamon? Some lemon or orange zest?

 

Pear, Chardonnay & Polenta Cake

4 eggs
380g sugar

250ml oil
250ml chardonnay (or any white wine really)

300g plain flour
2 1/2tsp baking powder
120g polenta

tinned pears (you can use tinned apples if you don't like pear, or both!)

frozen raspberries

• Cream the eggs and sugar
• add the oil slowly (like you're making mayonnaise! I know I say this heaps but I truly believe it makes all the difference)
• mix in the chardonnay
• fold through flour, baking powder & polenta
• space out some sliced tinned pears (or apple) on the bottom of a lined cake tin. sprinkle some raspberries.
• pour half the batter
• add some more pears and raspberries
• pour the rest of the mixture in the tin
• bake it till a skewer comes out clean. Don't ask how hot or how long, I have no idea.
• Good luck suckers!

[image source]

Make a glaze for the top of the cake by melting some jam and a small amount of water in a saucepan. and pour over the top. (when i say small I mean small, like 1-4 tablespoons of water, it depends on the jam) Garnish with some raspberries and you have a bangin' looking cake that tastes bloody amazing!

Polenta cakes are my favourite kind of cake, so moist and the texture is soft yet so fluffy soft (that totally makes sense, god I'm a dill), point being it's delish!

Saffron Pilaf

1/2tsp saffron threads
2tbs boiling water
2tbs vegtable oil (or clarified butter)
4 cardamom pods
1 small stick of cinnamon
4 cloves
10 black peppercorns
2 1/2 cups long grain rice
1L chicken stock
2 1/2 tsps salt

• Put everything but the rice and stock in a pot and lighty 'fry' the ingredients to release the aromas
• add the rice and stir to coat in the spice mixture
• add the stock and bring to the boil
• reduce the heat and cover. simmer for about 20 minutes or until the rice is soft.
• Set aside and let cool, then you get to pull out all your peppercorns etc.

Just remember to count them as biting on a peppercorn sucks!

[image source]

Apple & Pinenut Torte

I don't even know what to call this kind of cake, I didn't have a name listed above my oil stained indecipherable written out recipe.

6 Granny Smith apples
1 large lemon (zest and juice)
3 eggs
250g caster sugar
2tsp natural vanilla extract
100g unsalted butter - melted
100ml milk
150g plain flour
2tsp baking powder
100g roasted pecans - roughly chopped
100g pine nuts - toasted

3tbsp caster sugar
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2tsp ground nutmeg

• Slice apple on one of these fancy slicers. to a thin slice (perhaps 3mm). Just remember to core them!!
• Chuck them in a bowl and add all the zest from the lemon and the juice from the lemon
• Set aside.
• Get another bowl and using your beaters/mixer combine 3 eggs, your sugar and the vanilla.
• add milk then butter - for some reason I always add butter to the mixture very slowly, I think it makes the mixture thicker, it might just be in my head.
• fold through the plain flower and the baking powder.
• add yer nuts (pecans and pine nuts).
• mix it through the apples (give it a taste, because it tastes freaking awesome).
• put it in your lined cake pan then dust it with your caster sugar/cinnamon/nutmeg mix
• chuck her in the oven. I guess around 170°c for 1 hour and 20 minutes or until a skewer comes out squeaky clean.

Dust the entire thing with icing sugar, as it looks tonnes nicer :P
You can add sultanas if they are your thing, I prefer not to add them because they taste like arseholes.

There were no images of this kind of cake anywhere, so here is an apple.

[image source]

Parsnip Chips

There is this fantastically terrible thing I used to make at work called pasnip chips.
Basically they are just deep fried pasnip that you can serve with beef or kangaroo steak as a garnish.

All you need is some pasnips & a deep fryer. I guess you could pan fry, but deep frying is much easier when you have the basket to do this.

• Using a potato peeler peel the parsnips.
• Throw away the peel.
• Cut the ends off
• Now, peel the parsnips until there is no parsnip left in your hand, only a pile of peeled up parnsip on the chopping board.
• alrighty, heat your deep fryer up to some kind of hot temperature.
• now lay down some paper towel. or line a tray with some paper towel. just cover the entire kitchen with paper towel.
• Put small handfuls in the fryer and using the tongs/utensil that will not melt make slow figure 8's until they are golden. Then take out straight away! They will be sloppy, but don't fret they go crunchy and nice :)

They burn quickly and go quite bitter when burnt. Which is nasty and a waste of perfectly good parsnip!!

[image source]

I decided that until I make all these recipes again I can provide images from other sources just to give you an idea of what they shoudl look like

DIP LIST

All these dips make a lot of dip. so halve and quarter accordingly.

Smoked Salmon Dip

250g salmon
750g cream cheese
Lemon juice

Salt & pepper

• Process all of them.
• Season to taste
• Voila!

To mix it up, why not add some capers?

Hommus

750g cooked chick peas
3/4tsp tahini
1tsp garlic
30mls olive oil (or until consistency looks great)
15mls water
Salt & pepper
White wine vinegar
Lemon Juice

• Process all of them.
• Season to taste
• Voila!

For an alternate version you can add beetroot relish to this dip. In all honesty I love it one thousand times more with the beetroot relish.


Tomato Pesto

250g semi-dried tomatos
150g roasted capsicums (get those marinated ones in the jar from the supermarket).
300g roasted pine nuts
150mls olive oil (or until consistency looks great)
150g powdered parmesan
Salt & pepper
Lemon Juice

• Process toms, caps, pine nuts & parmesan.
• add olive oil very slowly until consistency is awesome. PLEASE be careful this splits quite easily. If it looks as though it is splitting add a little more parmesan and treat it with a little R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
• Season to taste (which means just add your S&P and your LJ).
• Voila!